Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
