Fine. I'll sleep in my office
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
