the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
