Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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