Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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