I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
