I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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