you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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