Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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