bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
