You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
