Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
