ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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