the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
