so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
