My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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