Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
