You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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