Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
