we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
