i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
