Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
