Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
