Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
