We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
