When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
