I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
