yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
