So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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