so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
