Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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