Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
