she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You were trust falling into bushes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
