My first STD was from a foam party
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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