Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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