I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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