Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
