he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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