Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
