I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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