I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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