Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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