I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
