Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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