I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Randomize
