You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
this hospital has no fireball
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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