Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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