Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
