I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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