Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
